Friday 20 November 2009

Why I Hate ... Drum & Bass

OK, this has been a long time coming. The only reason that I’ve held back from writing this Blog is that my Blog is only read by my friends and the majority of my friends fucking love Drum & Bass, so it’s bound to do down like a shit sandwich, but sadly I couldn’t hold back anymore, because the fact of the matter is Drum & Bass is fucking shit! Yeah, I said it!

I know it’s easy to look at a different type of music from the outside and make harsh judgements on it, but I’m not on the outside looking in, Drum & Bass plagues my life every-fucking-day, and not just recently but this has been the case for quite a few years now. The last time I lived with someone who wasn’t constantly obsessed with Drum & Bass was when I lived at home, four years ago. So before anyone starts pointing a fucking finger in my direction and claiming; “You can’t hate something you know nothing about”, I’d like to make it clear that I know about Drum & Bass, so I’m fucking more than welcome to talk shit about it, so fuck you!

Firstly Drum & Bass is not music.

Music conveys emotion. Every song in any other genre of music conveys emotion, from pop to death metal. But Drum & Bass doesn’t. The only time it does is when the listener is high on pills. But face it, on pills an empty can of Coca-Cola falling down a flight of stairs, clinking on every-step sounds as if it’s music conveying emotion. It’s a sad state of affairs when a whole genre of ‘music’ can be only appreciated (I use this term loosely) when the listener is out of their normal state of mind.

I know people say this about many forms of ‘music’, but in this case it’s completely true; all Drum & Bass songs sound the same. They really do. Every time I hear a Drum & Bass track, no matter which talentless artist has made it, I get a case of déjà vu! It’s freaky!

And when it comes to Drum & Bass emcees, oh my days....! I thought the majority of Grime artists were terrible. The best Drum & Bass emcee makes the worst Grime emcee look like a musical mastermind. It’s just that Drum & Bass lyrics lack a fundamental essential; LYRICS. It’s just fucking muffled gibberish. I feel like I’m listening to someone taking my order at a McDonalds Drive-Thru. They could be speaking Korean for all I know. I do prefer Drum & Bass without vocals to be honest, because then at least you only have to deal with the appalling beat instead of having my ears tortured by an appalling beat and an incomprehendable drivel being spat out by some obnoxious cunt.

It may be harsh to label all Drum & Bass emcees “obnoxious cunts”, so I’d like to say that I’m sure they’re not all obnoxious cunts. I’m sure the Drum & Bass emcee scene is made up of obnoxious twats, obnoxious bastards, obnoxious fucks and obnoxious [add own expletive word here] too.

As I have previously mentioned plenty of my friends listen to Drum & Bass and while I have no medical credentials or no scientific proof to back up the following point, I do believe (from my own experiences) that it is still true; Drum and Bass makes people stupid. When most of my friends started listening to it I saw a rapid decline in their intelligence. They began finding it hard to concentrate on the simplest tasks, this went on to the point were some of them could no longer tie their shoes or even spell their own names.

Another aspect of Drum & Bass is that it seems as if almost everyone that listens to it is a Drum & Bass DJ. I know five people that are Drum & Bass DJ’s! Five! I’d take a wild stab in the dark and estimate that a good 95% of people that listen to Drum & Bass are in fact DJs. The pendulum* has swung in favour of them, now there are more people playing Drum & Bass records than listening to them! The major increase of Drum & Bass DJs makes the global expansion of companies like McDonalds and Starbucks look pathetic. Official figures state that there are approximately 3,000 new Drum & Bass DJs everyday. If this continues it is likely that people such as myself and others that don’t like Drum & Bass will be rounded up and put into camps. Seeing as we will be the minority, we will then be allocated to a Drum & Bass DJ, chained to his (or her) decks and forced to listen to their 24 hour set, just so every Drum & Bass DJ has an audience. When that day comes I advice all those like me to chew at your own wrists until you’ve done so much damage that you eventually bleed to death.

One of my biggest gripes with Drum & Bass is that people actually think I listen to it or like it. Of course it seems silly to hate something because people think you like it, shouldn’t my gripe be with this idiotic morons that believe I would like such shit? No, my gripe should be with Drum & Bass, because if it didn’t exist I wouldn’t have this problem. I’m constantly being asked if I’ve heard the new track by some D&B fuckwit! Or I’m being asked if I’m going to the next Drum & Bass night. Asking me if I like Drum & Bass is akin to asking me if I like jamming a Phillips-head screwdriver down my urethra. So, no I don’t like Drum & Bass, in fact if you’re yet to work it out from the title or from the rant above, I’ll just clarify one more time; I fucking hate Drum & Bass.

Thanks for your time.

*Get it? I used ‘pendulum’ in a Blog about Drum & Bass! I’m so clever.

46 comments:

Kym said...

I just lolled my way through this post.
Good work!

Anonymous said...
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Anti H8R said...

Wow this type of childlike complaining is whats gonna get u no where in life

Anonymous said...

U sad sad person. Go listen to ur.classical shit lol

Ben said...

What’s the fucking deal with Drum & Bass heads? Do you have to have your sense of humour surgically removed to like that genre of music?

OK, I don’t like Drum & Bass, but I don’t hate it you fucking idiots, it’s all been exaggerated for comical effect!

“Wow this type of childlike complaining is whats gonna get u no where in life” … is it? And how far in life is commenting on blogs that you don’t fully understand because your miniscule intelligence can’t properly gauge what the fuck it’s about, getting you?

“U sad sad person. Go listen to ur.classical shit lol” … Firstly, structure a fucking sentence correctly! Or maybe you can’t because all those heavy bass beats have knocked out that primary school education you had! Clearly I’m missing the mark with you and this blog, because if you’re willing to “lol” at your own; “Go listen to your classical shit” my comical rants are too advanced for a mind like yours… because if “Go listen to your classical shit” actually made you laugh out loud, I can’t compete with such wisely crafted, humorous writing like that!

Fuck you both; by commenting on this blog you’ve done more damage to the genre you hold so dearly to your drug-abused-withered hearts by exposing the fact that D&B heads look like fucking imbeciles that can’t take a joke. Peace.

Anonymous said...

agree 100%, found this blog by typing into google 'i hate drum and bass', great write up and spot on. Drum and bass is a headache, it is two metal spoons being hit together,drum and bass is like hash and stella, instead of that good green and fruit juice. I was chatting up to this gal the other week and she said she was into drum and bass-went straight off her.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad i'm not on my own on with this one. There's a neighbour who drives me mad playing this headache of a noise. It's a hostel for ex cons. Need I say more???

Anonymous said...

This cracked me up, spot on, my boyfriend likes drum & bass recently and everytime he puts some on I tell him to put some proper music on!

I love lots of genres of dance music but drum & bass is shit noise to me.

Chioma said...

OMD mate you read my mind I LOVE HOUSE yeah, went raving with my mates last weekend they said their was going to be a house room, there was no house just drum and bass I tired my honest best to get into man but I just couldn't lie to myself no more man IT WAS PURE SHIT EVERYTHING SOUNDED THE FUCKING SAME AND EVERY ONE WAS OFF THE HEAD, I t totaled it man I ain't getting out of my head no genre man, if it's good music I can go crazy with out the help of a brain numbing drug and the comment about D&B making you stupid OMD mate my head has been fucked for time since the rave (like 3/4 days) all I'm trying to say is thank God you spoke out for us victims of Drum and Bass. (P.S. I know 3 D&B Dj's it SUCKS BALLS)

Unknown said...

Absolutely love this post. Drum and bass is for low life scum who belong on Jeremy Kyle. Completely agree that it makes people stupid, every single person I know who is into this utter shit is seriously lacking in intelligence. I jist can't fathom the appeal whatsoever. It sounds like they are shouting down one of those plastic microphones you buy for children when they're 4. I hate everything about it and what it promotes. Also, like I say, I am yet to meet an intelligent person who actually likes this drab. Makes my blood boil more than the Nazis incinerating the jews, that wasn't even a joke by the way!

Anonymous said...

Listen to Mistabishi - Memories (Matrix remix), I think that song shows great, strong emotion with a catchy melody and powerful lyrics

Unknown said...

This is what happens when commercialism takes over. You say you know a fair bit about drum 'n' bass resulting from association with other individuals who are into the genre, which is a fair point aside from the fact that from what you describe, they are only into the mainstream stuff - I must admit it's the scourge of the scene to a degree and seriously does discredit those that are retaining the artform.

If you were willing to do so, I would suggest you try artists such as: Klute (halloween, hell hath no fury), Duo Infernale (lost in the world, pipe dreams), Lenzman (broken dreams), Ben Sage (geisha), Unknown Error (the yearning, struggle). Just a few of the slightly deeper ones, although there are so many sub-genres of DNB that without knowing more about what you look for in a tune, it's hard to recommend something to your liking.

Obviously you're entitled to your opinion but to say the style lacks intelligence is completely wrong as it's been in evolution for over 20 years and is structurally complex. You won't find better use of syncopation outside of jazz music, for example.

Bottom line is that your points are MOTE THAN VALID if only the post was addressing *commercial* drum n bass! Then again, what you like and 'hate' is one of the beautiful points of music i suppose, individual taste. I just feel justified to inform you that there's so much more under the commercial output.

Cheers!!!:)

Anonymous said...

Fuck you!

We don't like your minimal and house shit either

Ben said...

Fuck you too!

Almost 6 years down the line and still getting hated on for this blog post, I fucking love it!

Anonymous said...

I would just like to say that Drum & Bass is awesome if you listen to the right people. Most of it "sounds the same" because its all the same beat for the most part and its rather repetitive which doesn't really mean much since practically all forms of "EDM" are repetitive as shit. Also, most D&B producers have no idea how to properly mix a track at such a high tempo so they end up squashing the dynamic range of the track out of existence via too much compression (this basically means everything is playing at the same volume and makes it sound like ass). Listen to guys like Spor, Mefjus, Phace, and some Camo & Krooked and you may rethink your views on the genre. That is all.

Anonymous said...

This is some funny shit. A lot of this is painfully true! I'd say it mainly applies to Jump-up/some styles of Neurofunk. However, there are some incredibly talented artists making more meaningful stuff. The darker/Minimal side of dnb is full of emotion. Artists like; Clarity, Gremlinz, Mystic State, Grey Code and Signal are doing no wrong the moment. The underbelly provides a better listening experience. You surely couldn't apply this to the whole 170 spectrum now, there's been a lot of progression since 2009! Completely agree about the mc thing, anyone could get up there and blabber a load of swift jibberish, it's a disgrace. The only mcee worth rating is DRS, and that's shocking when you think about how many "mcees" are actually in the picture.

Unknown said...

this blog hahaha what the actual fuck! loooooooooool poor you for not liking DRUM AND BASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! and the rest of you immature twats spittin your dummies out! crying over genre of music..if you dont like it don't fucking listen to it you thick cunts!

Anonymous said...

your not the only person alive to survive outside the earth's atmosphere mate your just a full bore faggit who needs and never will get a mrs! get a grip u fukin nerd

Anonymous said...

lmfao!! how fucking pathetic you are! I feel sorry for the girl you was 'trying' to chat up XD

Anonymous said...

Well alright... Typed why I hate drum and bass out of curiousity. I like drum and bass. Your description of typical DnB users is a bit overdone I think. Whatever music you listen I can imagine you wannabe intellectual who just listens whatever the shit he is into because he want s to belong to the group of "higher" hierarchy individuals. Fucking snob, go fuck yourself.

Anonymous said...

As a person not in any electronic scene I can say drum and bass people are the most annoying. I don't like house either but those people are not as militant and alienating as DNB heads. I just had some of my husbands friends visit us and all they wanted to listen to for a week is drum and bass. On the beach, anywhere. If anything else was played they were bored and eye rolls. That is sad to me and suggests that these overgrown babies are in some permanent khole or something.
It's like they are terrified of real music so they hide behind this dump truck of garbage noise.
Oh and why do they all act like they are fucking British when they are clearly from 8 mileish trailer parks in the states? I know England has a huge scene but still so annoying.
Lastly it's all just drug music. The people at DNB shows are not there for the passion of the music they are there for the drugs. In the light of day these people are not your friends. And they are the loudest about DnB "family" which is a joke.

Anonymous said...

YES !!!
I love music and dnb just seems like a stupid kid that got too high and doesn't know how to feel on a daily basis so it needs some lullaby to get it through the night.

It's music made for drugs. Are those people really so empty ?

Anonymous said...

I agree it is shite try old school hardcore acid house the older break beats miles better that that sped up shire drum & bass crap

Anonymous said...

Drum and base is a sad sad excuse for music same bollocks over and over again only been to 1 drum and base rave which my friend described as 'its gunna be the best night of your life' funny enough it was the worst.It was full of brain dead morons one guy was walking in cirles on the dance floor and i spoke to someone who didnt even know where they were absolute junk hope its terrible you literally have to be on drugs to even tolerate it hope it does completely:D

Anonymous said...
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Crandal said...

More like it went down like a shit anchor. Just because you lack the ability to extract emotion from a DnB track doesnt mean others cant. Its your opinion, you are entitled to it. I respect your position, but thankfully .0005% of the population will come to your blog before listening to DnB so we aren't worried

Anonymous said...

Literally lost my social life to DnB because all my old friends used to want to do is smoke weed every day and go to another shit rave every weekend full of sweaty kids and drugs. This whole generation is fucked, not sure if it's just in South Wales but every kid my age seems to think pills are safe and that weed doesn't affect them but from what I've seen, they've all turned into scruffy fuckwhits and they've all turned paranoid, slow and stupid. They all have that same monotone voice dragging out all of their syllables and none of them can remember what happened 10 minutes ago. I'm currently studying in college and there's about 10 of us left in the course, 4 of us don't go to raves and it's funny that we're the only 4 likely to pass. Hope this is just a fucking fad or we're all going to end up paying more tax to fund the medical bills for this fucked generation when they end up overdosing, or benefits because they're too stupid to hold down a job.

Anonymous said...

Every time a DnB song comes on my Spotify ruining my vibe a little piece of me dies and I mumble "who the fuck listens to this shit". I guess I get why people listen to it, some people just hate themselves. Some people like country for the "beating a dead horse" type lyrics/nostalgia, others like rock and punk for the "stick it to the man" connotations, some like pop because they are simple minded normies, and then there are those who say they enjoy DnB because they enjoy ear rape. I've been to EDM festivals, clubs, parties and yea I completed the experience with drugs, regretfully. However, never once in my drug haze did I entertain the thought that DnB was tolerable or exciting to listen to. Currently, I am sitting in my campus library writing a term paper about online subcultures and theories that might explain their creation. Then, per usual, a DnB song came across my Spotify destroying my concentration making me so angry I googled "Why is Drum and Bass garbage" and came across this beautiful blog. I glad that there are like minded people out there fighting the good fight against this so called "music". Lets try to keep the BPM of music below 170 for the sake of future generations. Good luck out there brothers and sisters.
Sincerely, A VERY Concerned Child of Music

sonofconsolation said...

thanks ben this was so funny, I also detest the genre having grown up in jungle then onto house and now obscure melodic but danceable techno. I am putting d&b down in the annoying dumps along with jazz dude I would rather listen to folk & country for instance.

Ben said...

Thanks for all your lovely comments, whether in agreement or just calling me a cunt.

I wrote this nine years ago and it still gets me hits.

The problem is people just come here for this post and you don't get my sense of humour than runs through this entire blog, this a comedy blog, I try to make things funny and blow them up to highlight comical issues, you don't have to defend D&B, I don't care, either get the joke and laugh or simply fuck off, it's that simple.

Ben said...

Learn to spell.

Name someone that’s survived outside the Earth’s atmosphere without equipment.

If I’m a faggot why would I need a Mrs?

PS I have a Mrs. Have done for years.

Dude, I’ve got a grip. I’m not the one leaving bitchy comments on a random obscure blog (that I wouldn’t be on if it wasn’t) making fun of my favourite genre of music.

You’re the fucking nerd, you fucking nerd.

- Ben Broughton

Ben said...

Alright you fucking cunt.

I think I mention in the first part of the post that I can’t avoid D&B. And that adds to why I hated it.

Suck ya mum, get AIDS and live a long life ... suffering.

Ben said...

Mate. I listen to what I consider the greatest era of Hip Hop 90’s USA & 00’s UK; Nas, Wu Tang, Biggie, Big L, Task Force, Stig of the Dump, Lowkey ...

I don’t think of myself as an higher hierarchy individual at all... although I’d clearly class myself higher that you...

...because you have so much time you just randomly Google things out of couriosity. Good for you.

But this working class lad ain’t going to fuck himself anytime soon ... cos I wanked myself over your mother 5 minutes ago.

She consented FYI.

Ben said...

Wow, kudos on your comment.

I don’t get your shit anchor comment. This post went down a storm and is my most popular (yet not even in my personal top 20).

You shouldn’t be worried. I don’t think my ‘joke rant’ about D&B will take down the entire genre... and that was never my intention.

But thanks for being part of the .0005% of the population that visited my blog.

Every hit helps.

TheNameBenisaShitName said...

Looking through the comments here it's sad to see posts that disrespect the integrity of people because of the genre of music they listen too. In the ten years from this initial blog post Drum and bass has changed many times over and the quality of productions have gone through the roof. If you think that the genres songs all sound the same, while in the same breath say house is great and techno is the shit, then you are outing yourself as an absolute fucking moron that knows jack shit about how music is made and what it takes to write something of your own, which I highly doubt any of you have ever done in your entire life. As a matter of fact, this blog is probably the only thing in your life that will ever get any attention. Have a nice day.

Brian said...

There is good music in every genre of music out there.

I'm sure there are countless people out there who would find your taste in music to be crap as well.

Why limit yourself by hating any genre when there is so much to enjoy in all music?

Anonymous said...

I accidentally tuned into some drum & base one evening on the radio & felt compelled to listen to it. Not because I enjoyed it, but because it seemed to be completely and utterly devoid of any trace or emotion, humanity or warmth.

When I realised that was the point of it, I felt kind of sick in my stomach.

Drum and base is music for psychos. I avoid anyone on dating sites who lists it.

HeHeyWhatDoYouSay said...

Um...got into EDM a few years back and in the past year my mind blew up listening to DnB and I wanted more and more...Liquicity was the starting point for me....2015-2019 yearmixes...found a lot of songs and to say they lack of emotion, its beyond retarded :D I could give you many examples but here's a few examples that make me vibe inside...something as simple as "simple" as 'Monrroe - A place to belong' to 'Delta Heavy - White Flag (VIP)' to 'Maduk ft. Juul - Company' .... and so on...enjoy what you like :)

Anonymous said...

i still like the pre-2012 shit but it kinda all started becoming a mess when the producers I idolised just stopped making the music altogether, Clipz, Roni Size, Dillinja etc and all the labels and record stores shut up shop. some would say it's making a comeback but tbh the only decent tunes I can recall are just remixes of the old glory days tracks. so while I agree that drum and bass is shit i'm only talking the new-school stuff.

Loz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Loz said...

Hahahaha

Loz said...

Hahahhahahaha. This is the best thing I've ever read.

P.s. Goood to know im not the only one who thinks drum and bass is absolutely shit.

Anonymous said...

This blog is spot on . I've found it while being kept up by some utter twat playing drums and bass in the industrial estate opposite my boat mooring . It's got to be the worst load of mind numbing shit I've ever heard . It sounds like someone glued the keys down on some cheap drum machine . No tune , no decent melody , just mindless noise . And it's always wankers who play it at times like this . 3am on a Sunday morning .

Anonymous said...

Early - mid 90s stuff is decent. Modern jump up “rollers” are the just same tune that get played. Same as this obsession with “tech house”. All the same sounds over a 4x4 beat and a one note bassline. Disposable music for the TikTok generation hooked on Ketamine and Coke…

Bleeeeee said...

Every once in a while I come back to this thread and read it for comfort and to know that I am not alone. As a house dj of thirty plus years I find DNB in our local scene like a virus. It pollutes the vibe at parties. DNB is for disconnecting and an outlet for rage like heavy metal, which is also why its popular for angry young kids that want to get out of their heads. It is NOT a "lovely-dovey" thing at all and very hard to connect with if you feel good about life and other people. Taking good pills and listening to a night of good, easy house music with a committed group CAN CHANGE YOU like church, be deeply healing and make you feel rejuvenated and like everything is alright in the world.

DNB drives all the mellow, happy people OUT of the party. I have no issues with the music or its fans, but when the sound leaks into parties that could/should be more house centered and focused, it totally fucks up the vibe and fractures the scene.

Anonymous said...

Spot on. I love this rant and it is 100% accurate.

D&b is absolutely shallow, boring and retarded. It sounds shit and it is performed by shits and pretentious retards who think they are oh so edgy. They are the same subhumans that support gender retardation and everything else that is wrong with this world, including Ukraine and Israel.

Long live actual music.Long live indie rock. Long Live Aragorn, king! For Frodo!